“Bevin, are you ready for the meeting?”
That was an excellent question. Was I? I sat on my bed staring at all the clothes strewn around my floor. Mostly flannels, but a few gay pride shirts as well. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I gripped the side of my bed. The meeting started soon. I wanted this. It was just information. Why was I nervous?
José made his way across the room and sat down next to me. He gently placed his arm across my shoulder, and I closed my eyes, trying to take the comfort he offered. He was one of my best friends. I leaned into him, dropping my chin to my chest. “Why am I scared?” My voice came out so softly, I didn’t think he’d hear me.
His head came down on my shoulder as he squeezed me in a half hug. “I know, it’s something you’ve always wanted, but it’s also surgery. Something huge. Let’s go, jump in. It’ll be great. Afterwards I’ll get you ice cream.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his incentive. “I’m not Jade.”
He pulled me up. “So, no on ice cream?”
“Too late, it’s been offered.”
Once standing, José stared up at me, his dark eyes giving me comfort. Ever since I could remember, he’d been a rock in my life. We’d grown up together, but we’d only really become close when I’d entered high school. He introduced me to the GSA, gay, straight, alliance. He’d always supported me, though I think he never quite understood me. He got gay, he was working on trans. Despite that, he always supported me.
We headed out to the driveway. I smirked at him. “I’ll drive.”
“Sweetheart, you know I love you, but no, I want to survive today, I’ll drive.”
I didn’t know why none of my friends thought I could drive, it irked me, but, whatever. On the way to the meeting I got a text from Jade, who was in Florida with Sarah. I snorted. “They’re camping. They’re with that British family, hope they have fun.”
We got to the meeting. It was at a local Youth Outreach Center. I stared at the door and froze.
José grabbed my hand. “You’ve got this, Bev. It will be great.”
Slowly, I got out of the car and we headed in. The gatekeeper, the person at the desk was a young man with a nametag Joe (he/him). He pointed us in the right direction. There was a small room with a circle of chairs. A few were empty so we took two. At eleven the meeting started.
For the next hour the group of six transgender people spoke about their fears of surgery. Two had been through it, four of us hadn’t. They asked that José not remain, as he wasn’t transgender, and José agreed to go and wait by Joe. I was amazed at the information given and the freedom they felt in giving their stories. They agreed to set up another meeting in the summer, and we shared online contacts.
Oh my gods…this was all so real! This really could happen!
José took me out for ice cream. We each got a sundae and I told him about my fears. “I just want the surgery over with, but I still have over two years to wait. I don’t turn eighteen until next year, May eighth.”
José grabbed my hand. “You know, that’s barely a year and a half more. You’ve got this and we’re all here for you.”
Relaxing, we finished our dessert before he brought me home.
The next morning, I woke up with a series of texts from Jade. She’d been attacked and was in the emergency room. What the hell? I always though it was Owen who caused the family to end up there.
Huckleberry Rahr - Author 